We must warn you EXTREME bouts of humor lies ahead. Loosen your belts and prepare to laugh your hearts up, especially as it pertains to Donald Trump. We gotta say, one sure victory he will without a doubt walk away with is the number one spot for the most wildly controversial candidate to ever run for governance. And as well, a hell of a lot of publicity, almost the most ever in the history of politicians (or should we say potential politicians). Here's to you Donald.....you are clearly winning even if you loose.
Now let's dive into these quotes, after all, everyone deserves a good laugh now and again.
First up Donald Trump:
1. “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud"
2. “Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!”
3. “Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.”
4. “You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”
6. “I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
7. “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.”
8. “Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.”
9. “If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”
10. “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”
11. “One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”
12. “The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
13. “It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”
14. “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
15. “My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”
16. “I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”
17. “I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”
18. “You’re disgusting.”
Donald Trump said this to the opposing lawyer during a court case when she asked for a medical break to pump breast milk for her three-month-old daughter.
19. "The point is, you can never be too greedy."
20. “Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight!”
21. "My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.
22. "My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault."
23. “I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”
24. “The other candidates — they went in, they didn’t know the air conditioning didn’t work. They sweated like dogs...How are they gonna beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”
25. "Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, [Republican rival Marco Rubio] referred to my hands: 'If they're small, something else must be small.' I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee."
26. "Thanks sweetie. That’s nice”
Said Donald in typically patronizing style to a female 9/11 survivor.
27. "Lyin' Ted Cruz just used a picture of Melania from a shoot in his ad. Be careful, Lyin' Ted, or I will spill the beans on your wife!"
28. “I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen, down on 7-Eleven, down at the World Trade Center, right after it came down”
29. "The only card [Hillary Clinton] has is the woman's card. She's got nothing else to offer and frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don't think she'd get 5 percent of the vote. The only thing she's got going is the woman's card, and the beautiful thing is, women don't like her."
Now let's take a look at Hiliary Clinton's
1) “Many of you are well enough off that the tax cuts may have helped you. We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.” – Hillary Clinton
2) “Don’t let anybody tell you that it’s corporations and businesses that create jobs.” -- Hillary Clinton
3) “You know, we can’t keep talking about our dependence on foreign oil and the need to deal with global warming and the challenge that it poses to our climate and to God’s creation and just let business as usual go on, and that means something has to be taken away from some people.” – Hillary Clinton
4) “I can’t worry about every undercapitalized business” — Hillary Clinton testifying before Congress on the effects of Nationalized Health Care.
5) “Yes, we've cut the maternal mortality rate in half, but far too many women are still denied critical access to reproductive health care and safe childbirth, and laws don't count for much if they're not enforced. Rights have to exist in practice — not just on paper. Laws have to be backed up with resources and political will. And deep-seated cultural codes, religious beliefs and structural biases have to be changed.” – Hillary Clinton
6) "We are at a stage in history in which remolding society is one of the great challenges facing all of us in the West." -- Hillary Clinton per Barbara Olson's Hell to Pay: The Unfolding Story of Hillary Rodham Clinton
7) "There are rich people everywhere. And yet they do not contribute to the growth of their own countries.....They don't invest in public schools, in public hospitals, in other kinds of development internally." – Hillary Clinton
8) "No. We just can't trust the American people to make those types of choices ... Government has to make those choices for people." – Hillary Clinton
9) "If you have guns in your home, tell your parents to keep them away from you and your friends and your little brothers and sisters." -- Hillary Clinton to middle school students
10) "I also believe that every new handgun sale or transfer should be registered in a national registry..." -- Hillary Clinton
11) "I think again we’re way out of balance. We’ve got to rein in what has become almost an article of faith that almost anybody can have a gun anywhere at any time. And I don’t believe that is in the best interest of the vast majority of people." -- Hillary Clinton
12) "We came out of the White House not only dead-broke, but in debt. We had no money when we got there and we struggled to piece together the resources for mortgages, for houses, for Chelsea's education. It was not easy." – Hillary Clinton
13) “I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.” — Hillary Clinton makes up a ridiculous, untrue story about her trip to Bosnia.
14) “In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including Al Qaeda members, though there is apparently no evidence of his involvement in the terrible events of September 11, 2001. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons. Should he succeed in that endeavor, he could alter the political and security landscape of the Middle East, which as we know all too well affects American security.” — Hillary Clinton, October 10, 2002
15) "There’s a different leader in Syria now. Many of the members of Congress of both parties who have gone to Syria in recent months have said they believe he’s a reformer." -- Hillary Clinton on tyrannical maniac Bashar Assad
16) “With all due respect, the fact is we had four dead Americans. Was it because of a protest or was it because of guys out for a walk one night decided to go kill some Americans? What difference, at this point, does it make?” -- Hillary Clinton
17) “My husband may have his faults, but he has never lied to me.” -- Hillary Clinton per Kim Eisler's Masters of the Game: Inside the World's Most Powerful Law Firm
18) "Put this (helicopter) on the ground! I left my sunglasses in the limo. I need those sunglasses. We need to go back!" -- Hillary Clinton from Air Force Lt. Colonel Robert Patterson's Dereliction of Duty.
19) "I have to admit that a good deal of what my husband and I have learned (about Islam) has come from my daughter. (As) some of you who are our friends know, she took a course last year in Islamic history." – Hillary Clinton
20) “The last time I actually drove a car myself was 1996.” -- Hillary Clinton
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